Umiman's Feet

Clinical Depression

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 03:27:08 GMT

How does someone know when they suffer from clinical depression? Is there a checklist where if you score 10/20, you must be depressed?

This question arose when I read Hugh Laurie saying that he realized he was suffering from depression because he felt nothing as drove around exploding cars in an event. It came back to me when I was watching a stripper gyrate her hips and realized I was more interested in a catfish cookbook.

So, I've been trying to find out if I have a hormone imbalance somewhere or if my brain is malfunctioning. Looking online, I find really, really useless information about depression where practically everything anyone can do can potentially be depression-related.

"Are you afraid of meeting people or find yourself relying too much on people?"

"Do you have a lack of appetite or find yourself eating too much?"

How on earth is that helpful? And how is someone who's depressed supposed to know they "experience bouts of helplessness more than usual"?

For myself, I've come to a conclusion that I'm probably not depressed. Most likely is that I'm just massively bored and for someone who takes a lot of pleasure in indulging in extremes, I'm starting to run out of extremes. By extremes, I don't mean jumping out of a plane or flipping a skateboard, I mean agreeing to kill for profit or fucking a cow.

Not that I've killed anyone or fucked a cow. So far as you know.

Standards

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 20:23:51 GMT

What is your level for standards and how much do things need to change before you change your standards as well?

It seems that as time passes, people tend to forget and abandon whatever standards they used to have. We seem to be born to this world with standards of immensely high altitudes and then slowly lower them till there's nothing left. In short, we never raise our standards as we age, we only temporary put them back closer to what they were.

For example, as a child, we automatically assume that everyone is good and pure and holy and saintly and whatnot. Then your parents and that nosy uncle tell you not to take candy from strangers. Then your friends tell you not to give money to that begger because he'll just buy drugs and bug you for more. Then your girlfriend tells you not to look at other girls because... well... apparently because they're cruel malicious beings of a diabolical nature.

As time passes, our definition of "good and pure and holy and saintly and whatnot" changes to a level that would have been "inexplicable cruelty and evilness" when we first existed (I doubt our brains at that time could have comprehended such a level anyway). Thus, our standards deteriorate.

I don't care about that. That's a fact of life. What I'm worried about is how people change their standards for the most ridiculous reasons. Subway made one bad hoagie? Man, I'm never eating at Subway ever again and will protest because they universally suck balls for life dudez. You suck at art? No, apparently I'm damn fucking awesome at art. I'm so damn awesome at my super awesome stick drawings that only people slighter better than me are awesomer and everyone else awesomer sucks a level of sucktitude only I can see.

People are naturally adapted to denial it would seem. Naturally adapted to justify everything they do as "the best" and resent everything else. I guess that's what ruins everyone's standards.

Getting Older

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:33:23 GMT

It's funny how as you get older, the world becomes bleaker and more depressing. Here's an example, all those people you admired (or detested) turn out to be far more stupider than you realize. Take the current global recession, global as in everywhere except Iran for some reason, for example:

Everywhere you hear people complaining about how the government is taking their money to fund big evil corporate scumbags who are now safe knowing no matter how badly they screw up, they can still rest easy knowing the government will bail them out. That's completely untrue from every single logical point of perspective. What's the point of a corporation? As a publicly traded company, their commitment above everything else is to maximize revenue to increase stock price. That's it. That's the purpose of a CEO.

Take a look at what happened to the stock markets of the world. Stock prices going down. People going bankrupt. Those executives are going to burn regardless of whether the government bails them out or not. What the US Treasury or the EU are trying to save are not executives or CEOs or any greedy individual out to steal your soul, they're trying to save the foundations of industry. Take, for example, if every single bank in your country went down under, which ironically is what's happening right now in the US. What on earth are you, as a consumer, going to do now? Cry? Put money under your pillow?

It's a much worse case scenario than you just paying a little bit more to rescue those companies. Not being able to conduct any financial transactions is seriously much worse than an extra $5 on your tax bill. Unless you're some isolationist prick, in which case I question your reliance on blogs for information.

It's funny how humans are. We tend to be able to be so stubborn and ignorant about everything and anything. Our mind is able to block out, ignore, and go in complete denial about anything... except when it comes to our money. Whoa, the moment someone touches our money, it doesn't matter for what it's for or why, we break out the pitchforks and torches.

"You took $10 of my money to save the world!? FUCK YOU! GIVE IT BACK!"

Hey, at least your governments are trying to save you. Look at Malaysia. Even now UMNO is still covering its ears, singing "it's gonna be alright" to itself every night.

- Image copyrighted by Sinfest.

Wut?

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:54:41 GMT

You know... once in awhile, you get something that's so stupid that it has to be a joke. I'm thinking that about Kurozuka. (a Japanese manga)

Okay, the story is about immortals right. There's this demon chick who's immortal. She's immortal because as a child, she saw the corpse of Christ. In Japan. Washed up on a beach. Then the corpse asked for her blood. She ran back to get help from guys who then tried to rape her. Her blood gets splashed on Christ's face. Christ than stands up, crushes one of the rapist's neck and throws him in the ocean with one hand then obliterates the other guy by slicing the guy in half with another hand. He then rapes the girl and drinks her blood. Thus, she becomes immortal (but she steals the cross from Christ's neck).

...

...

......

Sigh...

Fear

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:14:10 GMT

Can't... sleep... the sound is giving me nightmares.

Even, eventhough I know it's not real! The sound! Argh! The screech as it comes closer, it whizzes across my ears, taunting me.

Keeping me from the finish line! It hits me. POW! Ahhh! Everyone passes bgy! Humiliation!

The blue shell.... no... not anymore... please... leave me alone... let me die in peace...

Externalism

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:43:01 GMT

Want to sound smarter? Read on.

The following are exerpts from my Philosophy written paper. It's not the best in the world, but it should give a good idea on externalism. Enough so you can brag to your friends about how smart you are about metaphysics.

The first of the two major thought experiments in question is Putnam's (1975) famous "Twin Earth" thought experiment. Basically, we are asked to imagine two identical worlds, the first being our Earth and the second being Twin Earth. The two are identical in every way except that water on Earth is H2O and water on Twin Earth has a complicated chemical structure which is abbreviated to XYZ. The two "waters" are exactly alike in all aspects; they are clear, liquid, soluble, etc., except for one being H2O and the other being XYZ. Since people on Earth only learned of water being H2O in the 1970s, it can safe to assume that the same applies to the people on Twin Earth learning that water (for them) is XYZ in the 1970s and prior to that time, no one could distinguish between the two. According to Putnam, someone on Earth in 1970 speaking of "water" would have been referring to H2O while someone on Twin Earth would have been referring to XYZ while speaking of "water". This can be extended to cover mental contents as well (McGinn 1977) wherein someone uttering "water quenches thirst" on Earth would be referring to H2O quenching thirst whereas someone on Twin Earth uttering the same sentence would be referring to XYZ quenching thirst. In short, these two have different beliefs even though they are intrinsically identical. Thus, the thought experiment attempts to show that some beliefs are not dependent on intrinsic factors.

The second thought experiment highlights a split in externalism, wherein the Twin Earth thought experiment depended on the identity of physical matter within the environment (natural kind externalism), this thought experiment concerns itself with social externalism and is defended by Tyler Burge (1979), which is basically about how social institutions can affect the contents of beliefs and thoughts including those not covered by natural kind concepts. We are to imagine Bob with the resolute conviction that arthritis is a pain in the thigh when it is, in fact, an inflammation of the joints. When Bob says, "I have arthritis in my thigh" his belief is false. Burge then places the very same Bob with the very same conviction in a community where "arthritis" refers to "tharthritis" which is the same as arthritis except it also includes for the pain in the thigh. According to Burge then, in this situation, when Bob says, "I have arthritis in my thigh", he now has a true belief (that he has tharthritis in his thigh) even though the intrinsic facts about the Bob are the same. Merely the beliefs are different [3]and it is suggested from this that mental contents are constituted by social relations.

[3] Bob has a false belief initially but a true belief in the new community. Since he is the exact same person each time, his unchanged belief can't be both true and false. Therefore there must now be two different beliefs.

Dying!

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 07:36:08 GMT

It's been awhile... there's a lot I can blog about... like New Year's... or Smash Brawl... or cooking... or whatever, but instead!

Here's my "friends'" responses to me dying... Yeah, real helpful the bunch of you. Don't none of you come asking me for forgiveness when I conquer the world and eat your babies.

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: I haven't eaten all day
Lardis: Right...
Umiman: then I ate one small burger
Umiman: and got full!
Umiman: What the shit?
Lardis: ur turning into an undead maybe?
Lardis: hungering for brains?
Umiman: my stomach must be compressing and consuming itself!
Umiman: Ahhh! I need to write a will!
Umiman: I will dedicate all my underwear to you!
Lardis: It'll be tossed in the garbage straight away
Umiman: :(

Thanks a lot! I'll be sure to commemorate you on my tombstone, Judas.

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: I was like, so bloody hungry cause I didn't eat for a day
Umiman: then I ate one small burger and got full!
Umiman: my stomach is compressing and consuming itself!
Umiman: ahhhhh!
Afiqah: woah that's so weird!
Afiqah: i hope you're not really dying!
Afiqah: i have to go though because i'm falling asleep right now
Umiman: :(

Wow, someone actually gives a damn?

Umiman: I think I'm dying!
Umiman: I was so bloody hungry cause I didn't eat for a day
Umiman: then I ate one small burger and became full!
Umiman: my stomach is consuming and compressing itself!
Umiman: AHHHHH!!!!
Spud: dude im melvin
Umiman: can't you help me!?
Spud: have u been moving around?
Umiman: I'm dying!
Spud: is ur metabolism low?
Umiman: I've been sitting in my chair for days now studying philosophy...
Spud: i see...
Spud: philosophy has fed ur stomach
Umiman: huh?
Spud: u r becoming buddha
Spud: achieving nirvana
Umiman: er... okay...
Umiman: I guess that's a good thing then...
Spud: to complete the process
Spud: read the book under a tree
Spud: its winter right?
Spud: do it naked
Umiman: uh... okay...
Spud: stick ur tongue on a metal spoon as well
Umiman: if it helps...
Spud: tongue
Umiman: it will stop me from dying right?
Spud: No it will speed it up...
Spud: i hope this helps ..
Umiman: :(

... See if I bring flowers to *your* funeral Mr. High and Mighty!

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Isaac: oh okay
Isaac: o_O
Umiman: I was so bloody hungry cause I didn't eat for one day
Isaac: for real?
Umiman: then I ate one burger
Umiman: and got full!
Umiman: my stomach is compressing and consuming itself!
Umiman: AHHHH!!!!
Isaac: o_O
Umiman: I'm dying man!
Umiman: can't you help me?!
Isaac: yeah, I am a lvl 68 priest after all
Isaac: I can ressurrect you if you die
Isaac: np
Isaac: and I can cure you and stuff
Isaac: cure diseases and all
Isaac: go see a doctor man, if you're serious
Isaac: lol
Umiman: :(

Well, at least you can bring me back *after* I die. Which is a start...

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: (yadda yadda yadda)
Umiman: help me man!
Umiman: I'm dying!
Emerson: it's probably because your stomach ran out of acid..
Emerson: i know when i don't eat the whole day i cant really eat much when i do too
Emerson: or i'll eat too much and get full fast
Umiman: So... I'm not dying?
Emerson: nah
Emerson: psh
Umiman: :D

Hey! Someone cares! You're my best man for my wedding!

Umiman: I think I'm going to die...
Umiman: (doo dee doo daa)
Umiman: help me! I'm going to die!
Samuel: do you want to go to hospital??
Umiman: I... I don't think I will last that long...
Samuel: go buy some pill from Mac or go bathroom for a while
Umiman: err... will it help? will it stop me from dying?
Samuel: hopefully, will you feel better in bathroom?
Umiman: well, if you say so...
Umiman: :(
Samuel: or lay on your bed
Samuel: make yourself feel comfortable
Samuel: if it doesn't work, you have to take some pill
Umiman: like... a suicide pill?
Samuel: =.=,, do you feel like a stomach ache?
Umiman: I feel like I'm dying!
Umiman: dying!
Umiman: the world is turning white!
Umiman: the ground is shaking!
Umiman: everything is becoming a blur!
Samuel: you better go hospital
Samuel: at least they will take care of u
Umiman: No... I understand now. My time has come. I will write my will.
Umiman: I will dedicate all my underwear to you
Umiman: See you... in the next life! :'(
Samuel =.= underwear... ^o)

What's wrong with my underwear?! HUH!?

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: (diddle diddle fiddle riddle)
Umiman: AHHHHHH!!!!
Frank: lol
Umiman: help me! I'm going to die!
Frank: hmmm...
Frank: want noodles?
Frank: lol
Umiman: how will noodles save me!?
Umiman: I'm dying!
Frank: o.O
Frank: no no don't die...
Frank: come over and i'll give you some noodles
Frank: come
Umiman: don't wanna
Umiman: I'm going to write my will now
Frank: dude, i have instant noodles here... i can give you like 3 packs

Instant noodles. Miracle cure?

No one is taking me seriously! Time to step up the game!

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Ray: Huh?
Umiman: I was in a science lab and accidentally swallowed some mercury
Umiman: now my stomach is contracting and consuming itself...
Umiman: a doctor told me that they could try pumping it out of my system, but there's a good chance it's already been absorbed into my bloodstream
Ray: Wa
Ray: Sounds so serious
Umiman: they say what will happen is that now at any moment, I can just drop dead because of blood poisoning or an artificial stroke
Ray: Walao
Ray: You better take care dude
Ray: I got to work la
Ray: @@
Ray: Bye
Umiman: :(

Bye... BYE!? So cold!!!! So heartless!!!

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: I went to the pharmacy yesterday to get some paracetamol for my headache
Umiman: but after I took some, I checked the label
Umiman: and it was medication for liver transplant patients...
Umiman: I can't even feel the lower half of my body anymore...
PayPayGirl: are you serious!
PayPayGirl: why u buy the wrong meds???
Umiman: It wasn't my fault!
Umiman: they gave me the wrong drugs!
PayPayGirl: who?
PayPayGirl: the pharmacists?
Umiman: I didn't even know until I returned it because I couldn't recognise the label
PayPayGirl: sue them for negligence
PayPayGirl anyway lunch brb...
Umiman: :(

How to treat the death of your friend: "anyway lunch brb!"

Umiman: I think I'm dying
Umiman: I had to go for a blood test for my job the other day
Umiman: but the results...
Umiman: they told me I have HIV
Umiman: I think the needle they used for the blood test was contaminated
Xeem: ?
Xeem: for real?
Xeem: don't shit me now
Umiman: I'm going to die man...
Umiman: help me!
Xeem: but you're still a virgin
Xeem: and you never recieved blood from anyone
Xeem: at least I think both of the above are true
Xeem: how is it possible that you can have HIV
Umiman: the needle they gave the bloodtest with
Umiman: it was probably infected
Umiman: but I have no way of proving it
Xeem: needles are sterile from the packaging
Xeem: moreover, the virus would die within minutes of air contact
Xeem: your results could've been false positive
Umiman: I hope so man
Umiman: Thanks for cheering me up :)

Hah! Another person cares! Good. I shall only spare two people!

Current score:
People who will share in my glorious reign of success: two
People whose babies will be eaten by me: eight

More to come when more people come online.

ADDENDUM:

PayPayGirl: anyway it would be quite fun if u really got poisoned
Umiman: ...

Frank: ... you do know i care for you dude
Umiman: ew

Freaky

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:18:35 GMT

I'm a little freaked out. My speakers seem to have gained the ability to pick up foreign TV signals...

I was going to sleep when I kept hearing this funny noise like you would hear when a radio is on but really really softly. But I don't have a radio.

So I start searching, and then it turns out that it's my speakers. But my computer isn't running anything. Then I listen more closely and I start to think it's not radio... because the show makes assumptions that you can see what they are referring to:

"This is your house?"
"Yes."
"As we can see, the house is burnt down."

And everything is in a British accent, which makes me think I'm watching BBC news. But I'm in Canada.

Also, if I turn up the volume on my speakers, the news-noise thing fades out, but if I lower the volume, it becomes clearer.

Man, this is freaky.

Arguing

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 08:35:03 GMT

I have noticed recently that more and more people seem to be of the opinion that they are constantly right. This is obviously flawed as I'm always right, and I disagree with everyone. Therefore everyone else is wrong.

All joking aside, more and more people seem to come to argue with people not because a grave injustice was wrought, or some insult was made against them... or even if there was a flaw in the argument in the first place.

People nowadays seem more prone to arguing just because. You could say anything, no matter how irrefutable it is. Like, "humans need air to live" and the jerkoff who you thought was your irreplacable best buddy and comrade through death and beyond would go with the atypical first-redundant-argument response of "well..." (followed with "humans don't actually need air... they need a composition of oxygen")

Try it with people. Just say a statement and someone right next to you will refute it no matter how ridiculous he knows it would be to refute it. It's like they don't care if they're right or wrong. They just want to make it so they have the last word and you're wrong in some way or another. It's as if their brain doesn't work beyond the point of, "anything anyone else says is wrong".

I blame the internet, education, anime, and video games for this problem. You see, the first two endow this generation with the impression that they actually know anything when they actually are booze-ridden drunkards with no future beyond middle-management. Anime like Naruto and Bleach for being childishly arrogant and violent and transferring this retardedyness onto the viewers. And video games because... everyone knows the source of all evil in this world is video games.

However, if you're with me and having problems with these sorts of all-knowing jackoffs, then do not fear! There is a solution to things like this.

e.g:
"I don't like math..."
"Well...-"
"Dude, shut the fuck up."

Simple yet blatantly effective!

Irony

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 08:18:39 GMT

I have grown to believe that the world we live in is a world that lives and breathes on irony and reverse logic. An irony in itself, since we would like to perceive our world as it is and not through looped thinking before anything makes sense.

While not all-encompassing, as nothing in this world can possibly be 100% true or 100% false, you'd find if you learned how to look, that there are a great many things in this world which tend to be engineered so that the effects that are desired are often obtained through the means of which you would not want to obtain them.

An example should clarify things:

It is curious that the best method of bringing up your children involves a limited use of child abuse. As proven by history, letting your children run free and rampant with the rights (if not more rights) of adults usually leads them to... well, let's call it "an undesirable future both mentally and physically." Parents usually deem this, "if you love them, beat them". I doubt I actually need to explain this concept but it should be clear by now right?

Not limited to this field, we see irony take presense in a lot of things. For example, the idea of making jokes about others for the purpose of their entertainment, or working in a dead-end job so you can live a free life. Both cases are common, day to day experiences for most if not all of the world's population but both cases, when you think about it, are completely contradictory.

There are many instances where a government may promote free-education, only to realise that the more people learn, the more they voice their dissent. This is a world where the fastest way to economic stability is through the sacrifice of citizens in an economic cull. A world where the invisible hand theory (personal greed actually leads to more social development than collectivism can ever hope to reach) and Marx-Leninism (to protect the people, we must suppress them) can actually hold weight.

Irony happens very often in your daily life as well. A human being will wake up from sleep knowing that at any time, he could die, but begin to scream and cry discontent when it really does happen. He eats a breakfast of toast, jam or kaya and Milo, perhaps knowing that the more he eats, the higher his chances of cancer. He then reads the news, where the more disasterous events there are, the less he gives a damn. Taking off, he rides a car to his destination, where the laws of physics dictate that to create forward motion, backwards motion must be needed. Then he chats with someone he hates because he needs their support. Watches a movie that uses light to create dark. Reads a book that advocates active exercise. Etc...

Curious isn't it? I really wouldn't be surprised at all if we discovered heaven were hell and hell were heaven (well, I'd be disappointed at first, but the laws of irony dictate that I would enjoy it in the long run) or if death meant the continuation of life in another realm and reincarnation meant that your soul (memories and whatnot) was truly cleansed and in that sense, truly dead.